(co)dependent

when we were young and together you spoke about the size of your heart. how you love too hard
i felt bad i didn’t love you in the same measure

now that we are older and apart, i realize you were flattering yourself
does love hold grudges. does it hate.
does it speak lies with just enough truth to sound right.

some of the lies vanished from my memory that night, snuffed out by grace. others i chose not to read because i already didn’t trust you. but even still…hurt begets hurt, hate begets hate, and i have tasted both in some measure. the sweet venom the silent rage the subtle but sure hardening of the heart

now that we are older than the years that have passed, i realize your love was diluted with blood.
still seeping from old and deep wounds,

and I understand.